


Bane without lightwood

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-11-29 21:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11449191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Alec and Magnus break up and they don't know what to do without each other.Aloooooot of angst sorry.





	1. Missing you

Day 9 without Magnus, without having him smiling sweetly in his direction, without the sun shining everyday in his life, recently they called it quits over an argument that was bound to happen at one point & sometimes people say it's for the best but right now Alec felt so alone, they haven't even seen each other since the breakup so who knows what could happen.

—————————

"Alec Wake up." He heard his mother call repeatedly, since he couldn't hide off at magnus' when she was around he obviously had to move back into the institute where things were a little more "business", it had been the same thing every night everyone would ask how he was and he'd always remain to lie to them, he fixed his hair and entered the dining room, picking up a muffin for a quick snack, he didn't think living here again would be that bad until maryse sat down and well made things 1000% heavier. "I think you're better off." 

 

It was pretty random for a conversation started and he knew it was better to ignore because if she kept pushing he'd end up saying things he wouldn't even mean. "Any news on where they're keeping valentine?" Again wasn't the best topic but it was sure better than talking about his ex boyfriend. "No." Short but again as long as she didn't mention Magnus he could actually get through thi- "I always knew downworlders weren't good enough." That was it, whatever he felt he couldn't hold it in anymore. "Yeah because you were always magnus' number one fan." Yeah he should've bit his tongue and remained quiet but his mother just pissed him off at times especially when it came to bad mouthing Magnus. "Wha-" 

 

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, sure you were sorta accepting towards the end but you hated him, no you hated the fact I was in love with him because he's a downworlder, or maybe it's because I was happy while dad was off doing-" no going back now "don't you dare mention Robert to me." Okay maybe the last part was a little too far but right now everything felt like bullets to him. "Then don't mention Magnus."  
"Alexander.."

"It's Alec mom and you know that." He shot Up from his seat and began to walk towards the exit. "Where are you goi-" he grabbed his jacket from the rack and slammed the door once he finished his sentence. "Anywhere but here." Where to go where to go? He pulled out his phone to Stare at the small screen which read 10 am and stared over at hunters moon right in front of him, surely it's never too early for a drink.

As he entered the music blazed through his earlobes causing a small pain to his head, Alec knew this was stupid but sometimes alcohol is the best medicine at least that was what mag- no no Magnus no nothing, he's happy and he's single, Alec wasn't sure how long he had been spaced out for but Maia was repeating his name a few times. "Penny for your thoughts?" 

"No I'm uh- yeah I guess." He stared around at the people in the bar, his heart pounding with panic. "Y'know It's weird in all the times we've seen each other we've never had an actual conversation." Yeah that was true but Alec felt bad he wasn't exactly in the right head space to have a "why don't we talk." Conversation. "Yeah it is pretty weird.." "are you okay?" Great now This conversation wouldn't go well. "Um not really." Maia couldn't judge him because she didn't know him exactly that well so it was worth a shot. "I uh recently just got out of a relationship and it's uh pretty weird." 

"Oh I'm sorry, wait didn't you date-" oh great maybe she did know a lot more than she lead on. "Magnus? Yeah. Look I don't wanna be too rude but can I just get a drink?" Then the petite lady pointed over to a sign which read "NO DRINKING UNTIL AFTER 3 PM"  
"What's the point of being open if you can't sell alcohol?" He then finally met her eyes with his & Maia gave him a welcoming smile. "We do sell food y'know?" He shook his head in disbelief, Alec really didn't go out to bars much & all of this turned into an 20 minute conversation on why people shouldn't eat nuts in bars and honestly Alec didn't care what they were talking about as long as it wasn't- "Magnus!!" He heard someone from the bar shoutout as the glittered man stepped into the bar, Alec told himself not to look back to Even check hell if it was Magnus then he would just leave but surely it was way too late because even Magnus would've surely noticed him by now, so he turned around to glance for a second then looked back at Maia who wasn't sure what exactly to say next. 

"You Could sit further away if you wanted?" It was sweet, most people would say a werewolf wasn't this capable of this kind of behaviour but to Alec most downworlders seemed nice. "No I- I think I'm probably gonna head home" suddenly He heard that familiar voice and of course smell he didn't sound sad but then again why would he? He's Magnus bane the high warlock of Brooklyn, he could have anyone he wanted, before he knew it he saw magnus' eyes scan him from the side and almost do a double take. "Alec?" No Alexander no purr of his name rolling off his tongue, he tried so hard not to look into his eyes or even pay attention but he couldn't help himself, he stared longer than he should've but he missed him everything about him. "M-Magnus, I was just-" he noticed Magnus shifted his eyes to anywhere else but Alec which did hurt but he didn't blame him one bit. "How are you?" Did he really wanna know?

"I'm uh fine." He played with his hands and straight away Alec knew Magnus felt uncomfortable or maybe nervous? "How about you?" Magnus looked straight into Alec's eyes as if he wanted to say so much more than he lead on but decided not to in a way. "I'm good." Good what does that even mean? He's been busy? He's been on dates?? It's only been a while. Alec shouldn't really read into this.


	2. Moving on.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec I assume are always gonna be awkward at first during a break up! And it's kinda perfect timing bc the new comic con trailer was amazing it made it seem they were going to break up and so let's hope none of that happens and I guess this is something to do w that?

Pt 2.

The two had been speaking for a while then Magnus explained how he never asked how he was and the whole situation got a lot more awkward so he just blurted out an "I'm okay." Hoping the conversation would either end or something. "That's great Alex- Alec." Wow Magnus didn't use his full name, he feels like total crap and now he pretty much wants to ground to swallow him up which seems a little dramatic but Alec had every right to be some what dramatic once in a while! 

"It's just been.. weird, w-without." He looked at Magnus trying to let out whatever he was feeling for once, he assumed his former lover knew exactly what he meant by the way he looked straight at the floor then back at him with a tiny nod. "I mean- I miss you Magnus." It had to happen at some point he just had to embarrass himself even more, it was word vomit like he had no control over it whatsoever. "I miss you too." 

Suddenly the much taller male knew he would regret this but anything was worth a shot right now. "Then why aren't we together? Why can't we just move on from this an-" shut up shut up shut up that's all he kept telling himself. "We can't Alec." Magnus didn't want him back? What was even happening? "Why not? Because you think I don't trust you? Magnus max is dead. I needed you and you just walked away from me, from us." His voice was slightly louder than expected but who honestly cared at this point Alec surely didn't. "That's not why, you- I'm not talking about this right now." Shit he got up and walked away what the heck could Alec do next he had so many unanswered questions so of course he followed after him, his siblings called for him but he just replied with a simple "I'm handling this."   
But was he though? 

 

He had scanned the area with his eyes, he slowly grabbed magnus' arm once he found him. "Magnus, talk to me." This hurt so bad why was he making everything worse, the male slowly turned their eyes locking to each other straight away but Magnus didn't have that sweet understanding look anymore who could blame him after Alec just randomly yelled out their relationship issues. "The clave." 

 

"What?" He heard distance thunder as the rain poured down on the two of them. "We're not together because you put more trust in the clave then in me, you're a shadowhunter Alec it would have never worke-" he now understood why people were so emotional over breakups over people, it hurt like hell to lose someone you truly loved, he told himself not to cry not to break down not to do anything else but to focus on Magnus. "Then why did you even come to my wedding?!" 

 

He had guess it turned from sad to anger in a split second. "Alec.." Y'know what fuck it, he hasn't got anything to lose. "No! Why did you make me risk so much just to throw it all back in my face? I never trusted the clave more than you, but as head of the institute-" he's pretty sure he heard a scoff from Magnus, but tried to continue anyway. "As head as the institute, I couldn't do anything about what they said without getting an "they could replace you." Talk, Magnus I love-" 

"I don't call this love Alec." Yeah this was definitely gonna be the end of them but people always say things they don't mean at least that's what he hoped, Alec tried to argue back but was cut off by Magnus. "The clave always came first, which is understandable for a shadowhunter but I've let so many things go because I thought you were different but you shadowhunters are all the same, you kept pushing your luck and now I-I can't take it anymore. I didn't walk out on you I was just tired of making this relationship work all on my own." For once in his life Alec was speechless he had ruined everything and didn't even realise until now, he saw Magnus begin to walk off and called for him, he saw the man turn around to say once last thing. "You should come collect some of your things tomorrow." Then he was gone, and Alec had no idea what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys!! Some angst some love and some home truths. Let me know what u want to happen next or if you're enjoying it! Sorry it took so long to update I've been busy!! Next chapter coming very soon


	3. Loving you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Alec comes over to collect his things and maybe alcohol isn't a good idea with your ex.

Day 20  
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Magnus was sitting in his pink recliner washing away all of his sorrows with huge amounts of alcohol after all he was now alone as days past it was time for Alec to pick up his belongings as he heard the door repeatly be knocked he decided it was time to face all of this head on, of course he missed him but what could he do about it? Valentine was free possibly killing more of his people right now he should've been savouring everyday because who knows if he would even come to kill him after all he was the most powerful warlock in Brooklyn. "Coming!" He then opened the door with a wave of his hand, staring at the taller male in front of him. "Alexander, perfect timing all of your stuff is on Our- my bed." Maybe If he treated him exactly like he did when they were together then maybe it wouldn't hurt as much well at least that's what he told himself. "Thanks." He tried so hard not to stare at the male's features but found himself doing it anyway, he looked tired almost as if he hasn't slept for months. 

Alec simply stared raising a brow as Magnus eventually gave him the last item, the gift he had gotten him for protection. "No, that's a gift Magnus I can- I won't take it away from you." He then let out a sigh. "You're not taking it, I'm returning it." It obviously hurt the both of them but it was once again time to be head on with this whatever that even means. "Is it okay if I stay for a drink?" It's funny since if Magnus even suggested that months ago Alec probably would've Magnus was proposing there and then maybe this shouldn't happen but they had nothing to lose or gain anymore so fuck it. "Sure, I'm assuming something strong?" He saw the shadowhunter grin for the first time in a while and began to pour. "Don't even get me started." Maybe it would be nice for Magnus to check in just this once and see how Alexander Was feeling. "Well?"

They both sat down facing each other awkwardly. "The clave don't understand." The male blurted out before taking a sip of his drink. "Tell me something I don't know." the two sat in silence for a second but Alec once again spoke up. "They think I should step down, that I'm too unstable to be head of the institute." Magnus wasn't sure if the alcohol was already affecting either of them or maybe it's just been a while since they've opened up. "Because of-" he paused pointing between the both of them. "This?" It was nice to just sit down with each other and not worry about anything well at least forget their issues he saw Alec nod in response, refilling both of their drinks with a frown. "I just thought this would be easy." They both gulped down their drinks as quick as possible."Being a leader of any group of people, especially shadowhunters is never going to be easy" the warlock replied, once again refilling their small glasses with more and more alcohol. "Yeah.."

Magnus wasn't exactly sure how it happened but the two of them were too drunk, sitting very close and they were also very emotional. "I should go." Alec finally spoke after they spent a few minutes just staring at each other in silence. "Yeah you should- leave." God Magnus can't remember the last time he got this drunk maybe back in the 1800's but that's a long long story. "Magnus.." Alec began to lean forward, connecting their lips in a long passionate kiss, as the kiss went on things got heated and as much as Magnus wanted to stop he couldnt as the sensation of Alec's hands running down his chest was too much, maybe this was harder than they both expected.

_____________________________________________

The next morning.  
________________________

Alec woke up In confusion as he stared around his room wait this wasn't his room? He stared over the empty gap beside him he began rubbing his eyes to wake himself up and what he saw surprised him so much more. "Shit." No there's no way they could've slept together maybe Alec shouldn't just assume the first thing that comes to mind so instead he gets up & heads to the living room staring around for the warlock. "Magnus?" His attention then turned to the couch which his ex was resting upon, Alec felt like an idiot for staring so long but it was nice to see him relaxed again.

Once Magnus began to wake up, Alec adjusted his gaze to the counter. "Alexander?" Why was he on the couch? Was he too embarrassed about their night before? Was there even a night before?!! "Hey- uh-" he cleared his throat, their eyes just meeting once again. "What happened last night?" the two simply sat in silence for a second or two maybe talking wasn't the easiest thing to do for Alec right now but he needed to know. "Did- we- uh-" 

____________________________________

Magnus let out a sharp breath, his eyes going back to the male in front of him. "No but we almost did, I think the most that happened was a little-" he paused trying to think of the right phrase well that was until Alec simply said. "A makeout session?" 

He nodded in response, the silence coming back again. "What happens magnus? To you and me t-to us?" What could he even say to that? Alec looked very unhappy & Magnus was 100% sure that had something to do with him. "We broke up, we remain broken up." The words were like poison escaping his lips, maybe this was harder than anything he's been through. "Even after... this?" 

"What am I supposed to say Alec? That we should just get back together?! With the war, valentine & so many of my people dying it's hard to add a relationship on top of it all." He never wanted to sound cold or uninterested but what else could he do? He expected some kind of argument back from The shadowhunters but instead the taller male simply nodded. "And after the war?" That was one thing they never talked about or even brought up because even Magnus wasn't sure what the future held for them. "Once valentine is defeated and all of our war is over then nothing's holding us back, Magnus.." he felt hands over his own, letting out a sigh as Alec looked more relaxed, more happier. 

"We can finally be together." It must be nice to be young and hopeful but unfortunately Magnus wasn't like that well maybe not anymore. "Alexander...." his hand caressed his ex lover's cheek, his smile beginning to fade "We can't." Years of heartbreak should've prepared him for this, no centuries should've prepared him for someone as special as Alec, he began to hear a protest coming from Alec and decided to shut it down because of course he loved him but sometimes when you love someone you let them go and maybe that's what he needed to do. "I love you.. but this isn't-" why couldn't he find the right words? Oh yeah maybe because he was forcing whatever lies he could think of to make Alec leave. "It's not you it's never been you, it's me." Ugh that classic break up line was something he could never bring himself to use but what else could he say?! "Magnus.." 

And with the wave of his hand the door began to open & he simply ended their conversation with. "It's for the best, I think you should go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo that happened. :]]]]] I honestly tried make it as long as possible but I lost my first draft for this chapter so apologies!! I just added a small part to the end because I felt like it needed a lot more explaining than just a hook up. I appreciate the love 


	4. Back to work

3 days later.  
_________________________________________________

Alec tried to hard to get back to work to forget his night with Magnus to maybe stop trying to fight for them sure it sounded so stupid to give up already but if Magnus wasn't fighting why should he? As he woke up once again in the institute he headed straight to his office some members of his family already waiting inside. "What's going on here?" His voice seemed to startle his sister but she remained still once she turned o face him. "Alec I'm worried about you." He appreciated that he really did but there were too many things going on right now for him to just focus on his love issues. "Why? I'm fine." He then let out a sigh as his sister gave him an 'stop lying to yourself' glare but chose to ignore it. "Any news on Valentine?" The taller male then sat at his desk glancing around at all empty clave reports which he forgot to fill out. "We're not any closer than yesterday, maybe we should Magnus let him help us trac-" 

"No, absolutely not, there's millions of warlocks in Brooklyn we don't need to call him." He yelled at first but then quietened H his voice towards the end of his sentence, Maybe he did sound like a child or maybe he sounded reasonable but honestly seeing Magnus never helped before so why would it help now? "Look I appreciate this but I just want to get into work." His sister simply replied with an okay and once again he was alone... With his thoughts but alone, as he opened the draws to slide the clave reports back inside he saw a ring resting in the desk, Alec picked it up and read the initials 'MB' and his mind went elsewhere.........

_____________________________________________________________________________  
4 weeks earlier  
________________________________________________________________________

The two men had just woken up after an beautiful night in each other's arms, most of the night Alec had been playing with his boyfriend's jewellery and he happily did the same in the morning. "Alexander does my jewellery intrigue you?" He eventually brought the warocks hands to his lips pressing a kiss against them. "I just think they look good on you." He smiled, the two of them just staring at each other with love Alec wasn't sure how else to describe it, it was just love. "And.." Magnus began sliding one of his rings off and onto the finger of his lovers, at first it felt weird sharing certain items with each other but they both eventually got used to it. "It looks good on you too my dear." 

He simply just smiled at the ring then his boyfriend. "I love yo-"

________________________________________________________________________________

Before Alec could remember the rest of that memory he was brought back to reality thanks to his lovely parabatai calling his name. "Yes jace." Hold back the tears, Magnus is gone... "Are you okay?" Don't let go of your strength Alec. "No, I'm not." Maybe it's okay to let go....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was shorter than planned but I really wanted to get in a 4th chapter!! So Alec finally broke but what's gonna happen next? 


End file.
